What is "The Mommy Club," you ask? It's the strange radar-like ability for moms to hone in on and find each other in a room (even when kids aren't present), clump together in a circle to talk about all-things mommyhood (breastfeeding, childhood firsts - walking, teething, etc. AND poop. Always poop.) - and leave the non-moms standing with our arms crossed looking at our feet. Except, the "non-moms" these days feels more like the lone "non-mom" AKA, yours truly.
I'm probably overexaggerating this a bit (emotions have the effect on me), but sometimes it's just how I feel. And it doesn't feel good. I guess it brings me back to school and being the fat kid who got left out. Now I'm not the fat kid anymore, but I'm the childless one who couldn't possibly related to late night feedings, diaper changes, etc.
Everyone around me seems to be procreating; it's the age, I suppose. Sometimes I'll be at work amongst my mommy friends or out with girlfriends and they'll all be talking the mommy-talk while I sit silently staring off into space. It's not that I have nothing to add. I was a nanny for a couple of years, I do have some experience in these matters. But it feels like nothing I say could mean a thing to these women. They aren't trying to be mean, but you see - it's just that they are Mommies (yes, with a capital "M"!). I am not. I am an outsider. I do not belong.
All choices have their pros and cons. This is one of the cons of my current choice to hold off on children. Certainly, I don't think choosing to have children just to feeling like part of a group is a good move. But, during some of the darker days, it admittedly has been moved to the "pro" column of having children. Is it sad of me to admit that? Perhaps - but, hey, it's honest.